Anonymous asked: not-pretty-enough-for-you made a post saying that she has a loaded gun

Please help send love!

http://not-pretty-enough-for-you.tumblr.com/ask

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Anonymous asked: (Part 1)I dont wanna go to my dads this weekend or ever again.. my stepmums hella mean and being there is the biggest trigger of my life. Im 15 and so technically I can choose where I live but everytime I beg my mum not to make me go but she either

(Part 2) says I have no choice or my dad threatens to take us to court. I cant deal with the stress of court but my dads house is pure hell and triggers me a ton.. what do I do..

Dear Anon,

If you are old enough that you are allowed to choose where you live, then I would do exactly that. I know it is hard, but I would tell my dad that I do not want to be there anymore. I know how stressful court can be, and it is unfair to you for your father to put you through that at all. But if worst comes to worst, court is a shorter-term problem than continually going to your father`s place and being triggered. Do you have a social worker to help you?

Something that helps me is using what is called a “DEAR MAN”. It is a DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) Skill. It stands for Describe, Express, Assert, Reward (or Reinforce), stay Mindful, Appear confident, and Negotiate. It helps to write this out before saying it. Here`s a sample DEAR MAN just for you.

D: Currently, every (week, weekend, month, etc) I have to see you because of your visitation rights. Whenever I ask to not visit you, I am either forced to or you threaten to take me and mum to court.
E: However, I feel very uncomfortable with going to your house and spending time there. It is also unfair to me if you take us to court. It adds stress on everyone, including me.
A: Although I do love and care about you, I would like to no longer visit you or be forced to visit you until I am ready.
R: I think that our bond as father and daughter (son) can be strengthened as a result of me not being forced to visit you.
M: (Try to not allow the conversation to stray away from the topic at hand)
A: (Avoid Apologies if possible. You are not doing or anything anything wrong. You are simply asking for your needs to be met, which is something that a parent should try to reach).
N: (Be open to options like slowly decreasing visits or still visiting once in a while, just less frequently.)

I hope this helps! Stay strong and let me know how it goes!

Love always, Shina. <3

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Anonymous asked: I live with my mom and brothers. they know how he acts. My brothers are treated this way too (i used to have it worse than them but its evened out a bit) and my mom tries to cover it up. The cuts dont hurt bad anymore. I think it was a combination of tiredness and panic that was making them feel worse. You say I'll be out soon enough but I don't think it'll happen until I move out, I'm 15, he's been bad since forever and while he hasn't been physical in 3ish years, he's getting worse again. -LF

Is there any other family you can live with? Like grandparents, aunts, or uncles? Could you even live with friends instead? You shouldn’t have to live in an abusive environment like that, love. You deserve better than that!

Are you close with your brothers? I’m sorry your mom tries to cover it up :( Have you ever talked to her about how this affects you? Have you ever told her that you want her to leave your dad?

- Jen

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Anonymous asked: It's the hospital anon, I have my boyfriend to talk to but idk. I'm scared. I hate feeling like this and I just don't feel myself and I don't know what to do.

Have you talked to your boyfriend about all this love? If so, what did he say? Was he supportive? If you haven’t talked to him, I really think you should. Keeping these kinds of things inside is detrimental to your mental health and eats away at you from the inside out.

I know you’re scared… That’s understandable. This is all so scary and overwhelming. But you’re going to get through this, love. I know you will. And you know how I know that? Because you are strong, and you are a fighter. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t still be here!

- Jen

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Anonymous asked: The only other medication choice is one that causes huge amounts of weight gain, so they ruled that out. I can't not take medication, I need this to work. But also my therapist is on leave for 10 weeks, so I don't think I'll be okay -V

That’s not good that your therapist is away for ten weeks… Can you ask your therapist to set you up with another temporary therapist until they come back? Or can you see one of the other therapists that works in the same office? Your therapist is allowed to go on vacation and stuff, but they should set you up with other therapists so that you stay safe and still have support!

- Jen

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Anonymous asked: I just drank so much and took a few pills of Xanax. I do this every night now. My ex/best friend took my blade so he's the reason why I didn't cut tonight. My suicide date is set for August second. I'm going to take every single pill I can find and down it with all the liquor I can find. I am just telling you this, there's nothing really anyone can do to help me or stop me. Jen, you were always the one that ended up speaking to me. Thank you, and I love all of you. Goodbye.

It sounds like you and your ex/best friend are still close. Can you message them and talk to them about how you are feeling right now? Do they know that you’ve been drinking and taking pills every night?

No matter what your reason was for not cutting tonight, I’m proud of you! Not giving into the urge to self-harm takes a lot of strength and courage. It really does!

Please push your date back love. Push it back 70+ years, because you deserve to live a long, fulfilled, and happy life! You still have so much to see, so much to do and so many people to meet! Please don’t throw your future away. Please don’t ruin your life by hurting yourself!

You said that there’s nothing anyone can do to stop you, but as long as you are alive, we are going to try!!! You deserve to have someone fight like hell for you. Even if I have to fight you yourself, I’m going to fight for you. Because you are important, and you are worth fighting for.

- Jen

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Anonymous asked: Waiting-your-arrival is getting beat down on a hate blog. Can you please send her some love :(

Please send love!

www.Waiting-your-arrival.tumblr.com

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Anonymous asked: I hate to ask this but a friend of mine needs money for her classroom. Could you possibly signal boost this? app(.)adoptaclassroom(.)org / classroomdonation / results_teacher(.)aspx?classroomid=184416

Please help out!

http://app.adoptaclassroom.org/classroomdonation/results_teacher.aspx?classroomid=184416

Reblog - Posted 1 hour ago with 2 notes
Anonymous asked: Don't worry I'm okay now. Thank you for the kind words. Last night I was dissociating really badly and I was starting to get detached from reality but one of my alters made me sleep so I could be better and now I'm back to normal. :) -K

That’s good! We are glad you are feeling better now love!

- Jen

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Anonymous asked: I took half a bottle of cough syrup. Adderol, Prozac, and couple pain killers. What is going on. Will this kill me.

I can’t say for sure if it will kill you, but please seek medical attention ASAP! Please, love. Dying from mixing drugs is not pretty. It’s extremely painful. And think about all your loved ones and how devastated they will be. Think about your future, your future job and kids and husband. Think about all the places you’ve never been and all the people you’ve never met and all the things you’ve never done. Please, call for help. Suicide is not the answer!

- Jen

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Anonymous asked: I can't eat without feeling like im gonna cry and I always get nauseous afterward and I don't know what to do...

What about eating makes you cry? Can you try and explain to me what thoughts go through your head and what emotions you are feeling when you eat? Eating is 100% natural and healthy, love. Every single living thing on this planet eats! Does anybody know that you’ve been struggling with this?

- Jen

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augustuswatersislife asked: I'm worried about lindsayisnotonfire

Please send love!

www.lindsayisnotonfire.tumblr.com

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Anonymous asked: I'm having a really hard time lately and I've already attempted to take my life, I feel like doing it again, soon. The only thing stopping me is knowing how much that will impact the few people who are still close in my life. Everything is shit and I hate it :( - tbf

What’s going on in your life right now that is making you feel this way, love? Do any of the people that care about you know how you are feeling, or know about your previous suicide attempt?

Things might be terrible right now, but they won’t stay terrible! That’s not just false hope… That’s a promise! Life is constantly changing. Things don’t always stay good, but things don’t always stay bad, either! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark it might seem at the moment. Please stay alive to see that light!

- Jen

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Anonymous asked: I can't live anymore. I can't take the pain anymore, I need to end it. Im sorry. Im not strong enough for this.

What’s going on love? What is causing you to feel this way? You are stronger than you think! You’ve made it this far, right? Youve been battling these demons for a while, and yet you are still here. That shows just how strong you really are!

Can you try and go to sleep? Tomorrow is a brand new day, a fresh start. Things might seem a little brighter tomorrow!

- Jen

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Anonymous asked: She killed herself and it is my fault. Goodbye.

Who killed herself? What happened? Regardless, it is NOT your fault okay? Someone killing themselves is never anyone else’s fault. My good friend killed himself - is that my fault? No, right? Therefore your friend killing herself is not your fault!

- Jen

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